Water Cooler Talk: The Oscars
I couldn’t tell if ‘Terminator 2″ being on TNT before the Oscars last night was a good sign or a bad sign.
It was a good sign. Overall, Terminator 2 made way for a rather entertaining Academy Awards.
I feel like the Grammys have it so much easier. Because those people are live performers by trade, they can do what they do to entertain us between awards. But the Academy Awards had me going the whole time.
If you missed it, here are 13 talking points for the Oscars water cooler talk this morning without sounding like a tool:
1. Alec Baldwin dropped an amazing intro for Steve Martin, one of the all-time greats. Martin’s return line: “And this is Alec Baldwin.” Yes, it was hilarious. The pair had an amazing opening that followed an entertaining old-Hollywood number by Doogie Howser.
2. There was a nice tribute to the late-John Hughes and all of the fun films he made. Mathew Broderick still looks 18 and Macaulay Caulkin looks even creepier now. How he’s with Mila Kunis, we’ll never know.
3. Elinor Burkett’s (picture, right) Kanye West moment busting in on Roger Ross Williams’ speech was overshadowed by a killer appearance by Ben Stiller (picture, left — more in a sec). Don’t let people forget about the awkward moment Burkett made that invoked the “get off the stage” music.
4. Ben Stiller, who I felt had jumped the shark for a bit, killed it by decking himself out as a Navi (from Avatar). He was hilarious, although I think the fishing pole (joked as the special effects for his tail) could have been cut from the bit. All together, great showing by him as the presenter of best makeup.

"Don't worry, Elanor, my funny presentation will make everyone forget they never knew who you were in the first place. Apologize to Roger Ross Williams, now."
5. The guy who survived 13 years to thank everyone at the Oscars for his work on the Avatar set production high jacked the speech from two of his colleagues. I’m glad he didn’t die, but I wonder if his fellow winners who didn’t get to speak are pissed.
6. I’m hoping you’ve never seen The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, because that movie looks creepy as hell. It looks like Willy Wonka on acid — think about how creepy that would be.
7. The gorgeous Charlize Theron had a dress that had two giant tassles (the kind that strippers wear).
8. James Cameron was once married to Katheryn Bigelow, the director of The Hurt Locker. She’s much better looking than Cameron’s current wife, Suzy Amis (whom he was sitting with right behind Bigelow). They both seem equally annoying.
9. If you want to be ultra relevant, you can mention Kathy Ireland’s super awkward appearance hosting one of the pre-shows on ABC. She couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable. It was a train wreck.
10. The winners of best documentary The Cove, which looked really interesting, are super pumped about saving dolphins. One of the winners hoisted a sign (followed by a prompt cutaway). In case you were wondering, it said “Text DOLPHIN to 44144.” …I’m assuming standard text messaging rates apply.
11. Did Mo’nique kill it in Precious? Yes. Was she recognized for it as best supporting actress? Yes. Are her hairy arms scary in HD? Yes.
12. I always knew Meryl Streep was very respected, but I didn’t realize she’s pretty much the Michael Jordan of acting. 16 Academy Award nominations. Done. (For the record, she didn’t win for best actress, Sandra Bullock did.)
13. What a power three minutes for Bigelow. The night ended with her becoming the first female to win best director. She’s backstage for 15 seconds before Tom Hanks announces The Hurt Locker as best picture. And, if you haven’t seen it — go watch it.
Overall, it was an entertaining time, as stated. There were a lot of moments where you could tell Arnold Schwarzenegger would have said “I know now why you cry, but it is something I can never do.”












very informative and funny!
What happened to the lovely Farrah Facett? She had the misfortune of dying when MJ died and now she was also left out of the memorials at the Oscars.
Thank you, Laura. Hurry up and write for us again (read Laura’s first post, one of our most popular – http://www.thecollaredsheep.com/sheep-submission-a-summer-at-leisure-world/)
Sam – You’re absolutely right. Do people forget how hot she was back in the day? I think so.