Tall, Grande, or Venti – Starbucks Rap Video Parody

Lyrics:

(Chorus)

Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
My latte’s never empty
Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
My latte’s never empty

(Bridge)
I’m buzzed, I’m fly on my caffeine high
Quick service in the drive-through when I roll by
I’m calm I’m cool
 everything fresh brew
50 shots of espresso for the whole damn crew

VERSE 1
Gimme a caramel macchiato and can you make it skinny
Please hold the whippey I just wanna sa-sa-sippy
Maneuver through the city and I’m grippin on my venti
I had her double-cup it just in case it starts dripping
I got a goodie bag with M&M® chocolate chippies and a double shot mini jJust in case I get SLEEEEEEEEEEPYYYY

After work I’m going in for the bold pick of the day
Café Americano or a chai tea latte

(Chorus)

Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
My latte’s never empty
Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
My latte’s never empty

(Bridge)
I’m buzzed, I’m fly on my caffeine high
Quick service in the drive-through when I roll by
I’m calm I’m cool
 everything fresh brew
50 shots of espresso for the whole damn crew

VERSE 2:
Baristas very friendly
She makes my drinks from memory
I think her name is Wendy
Her lines are always lengthy
But I cant wait a century
I signal for a venti
She knows two pumps are plenty
She meets me by the entry
She joins me for a Zen™ tea
But if I’m feeling fruity 
I get Vivanno™ smoothie
Barista is a cutie
The apron fits her bootie
But if shes feeling moody
 or acting like a newbie
My drink will taste like doodie

(Chorus)

Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
My latte’s never empty
Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
Tall, grande, or venti
My latte’s never empty

(Bridge)
I’m buzzed, I’m fly on my caffeine high
Quick service in the drive-through when I roll by
I’m calm I’m cool
 everything fresh brew
50 shots of espresso for the whole damn crew

VERSE 3:
I need a buzz, work got me on my rocky bottom
I always get that frothy head on my macchiato
And it’s so good that everybody knows about it
(I’m goin to Starbucks)
My whole office got fiiiiiiiiveeeeee on it
They see me stuntin with my apple bran muffin
But they cannot see me with my ham and cheese panini
Argyle sweater, laptop shoulder bag
Espresso got me ridin on Boulder Daaaaash
Cappuccino got me on my lean
Double that caffeine with the extra cream
And no Jim Beam® since I found Vivannos™
Carmel macchiatos made me forget McDonald’s®
(I’m not loving it)
And at the workplace the coffee machine NO
It holds nothing against Mocha Frappuccinos™
All Americano and my tea is always Tazo®
Chillin like the yogurt

 Next to the water bottttttles

OUTRO:

Barista: Hi, welcome to Starbucks what can I get for you today?
My names Amelia, I’m your barista.
Customer: Uhhhhh yeah lemme get a mediuuum regular with an equal.
Barista: Well sir, you’re at Starbucks we don’t have mediums;
we do, however, offer these higher end alternatives.
Tall, grande, or venti – venti – venti