Are you the master of your work chair?

I’m not. I prepare for total chair chaos every Monday morning. I know someone has tampered with my settings. It’s generally much lower than it was Friday evening, and the arm rests are completely uneven. I’m not sure how people sit on the weekends, but I imagine someone with one Stretch Armstrong arm and one alligator arm.

It’s important to have control over your chair. You literally spend more time on that piece of furniture than anything else in the world.

A bad day of sitting and your back is going to be pissed off at you.

I know I’m not alone here. People sitting around me, generally females, have gone to great lengths to protect their chairs. One person who sits near me decked her chair out with stickers — something I at first found ridiculous since she doesn’t own the chair, but I think makes perfect sense.

She’s taken control of her chair. By putting that personal touch on the chair, any chair perpetrators in the area might say “Well, I KNOW whose chair that is. I’m not messing with Kim’s chair.” Unless you have no regard for office chairs, then you’ll likely do something horrible, like fart in the chair, so you can laugh to yourself the next day. I would stress you do something everyone can enjoy, like loosen a wheel. Actually, what am I talking about? Don’t mess with anyone’s chair.

I’m trying to decide how to mark my territory. A simple sign could do. Perhaps I can recreate one of those bathroom-type signs that was hilarious when I was 17. “Von Kaiser parking only. Violaters will be towed.”

Do you have control over your chair? How did you earn such respect? A simple sign? Blatant threats?

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