I’m thinking about changing my name to Oprah because my job has turned into a daily afternoon talk show. Thank goodness I was a Peer Counselor in high school. Where else would I have such valuable training?!

The location of my desk seems to scream “judgement free zone.” Perhaps it’s my apathetic, but responsible approach to answering phones that leads others to believe that I have feelings, just like them. Whatever the issue, I’m in the middle of it.

If you think I’m going to complain here, you’re wrong.

Having this type of relationship with coworkers and strangers encourages me that I can be very successful as a comedian/actress. Every day, I’m learning the psyche of humans and thinking on my feet as new drama unfolds. It’s all about understanding how people work and and learning to coexist (then write jokes, of course).

Since my reception world resembles a talk show, here’s my Letterman-inspired countdown.

You know you’re the next Oprah when:

5. It’s obvious Mr. UPS man is having a bad day, so you give him chocolate to make him smile.

4. Your intern tells your about being coked up at a four-star meal on a study abroad trip to France.

3. You know why there is tension between two coworkers…and it isn’t because the printer is jammed.

2. Your coworker tells you the real reason he is late and thirsty: Ecstasy the night before.

1. You know when someone has been fired before they do.