4 Reasons I Wish Rick Ross Ran Security at Work
Each morning when I walk into work, I'm greeted by a half-there security guard. I often wonder "If shit really went down, could Shaun really have my back?" I'm guessing no. But I'm not too concerned by it. My building doesn't contain the secrets that Cyberdyne Systems Corporations does in The Terminator series. But I say if my company is going to pay for security, it should step its game up. Here at Sheep Headquarters, we threw around some key names when considering who'd we want: Kimbo Slice, Chuck Norris, Tim Tebow, Bruce Lee's corpse, Mickey Rourke. But we decided on Rick Ross. ...
St. Patrick’s Day Office Limericks
So @cubicletroll mentioned on Twitter this fine St. Patrick's Day morning that his company was having people write office limericks. In typical company fashion, I'm sure people will write ones that are rather bland. [caption id="attachment_2696" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="5 O'clock can't get here fast enough."][/caption] Here at The Collared Sheep, behind a cloak of anonymity, we can get edgy with our office limericks and talk about how much work can suck, especially on St. Patty's Day. So the three of us put together some poetry for you. And we want you to write some of your own. Fire up a limerick (5 lines. ...
The Office Smoker: A Smoke Break Analysis
[caption id="attachment_6661" align="alignright" width="170" caption="The Cigarette Addiction: a one way ticket to smoke breaks. "][/caption] Every day I rush to work — a rat in a race of all mankind. Sweating, pushing, shoving, I hustle to the office to get there on time. After I grab the morning coffee I always notice "Mark" with his jacket on, heading OUT of the office. I'm trying to focus and get my day started while Mark has a different plan in mind. Mark is smoker. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against smoking, nor fellow co-workers that smoke. ...
5 Simple Signs You’re Over Caffeinated
Expertise: Health & Medicine Bryan is graduating from the Medical College of Va. in May. He will then go to NYU to specialize in neurology. If you have questions about your health and how to be more health conscious at work, e-mail us and we'll pass them along to Bryan. We’ve all been there. It is 3 p.m. Your appetite for food and blondes is only surpassed by Rosie O’Donnell’s, so you unwisely decided to eat nine slices of extra-cheese pizza at the restaurant down the street with the hot blonde waitress. She was unimpressed, but not as unimpressed as your boss will be ...
Office Haiku – Windows Error
Comedian David Cope, whose worked his fair share of day jobs, pens his finest Japanese poetry for The Collared...
Man Calls ‘Friend’ For Help With Car Trouble; ‘Friend’ Robs Man
Last week one of my only friends at work didn’t show up Monday morning. I hit him up on Gchat (he has a Droid), and he told me he was sitting on the side of...
When Is The Right Time To Invest?
During this time of uncertainty and economic turmoil, many people look for some kind of indication suggesting that they should “get back into the market.” Truthfully, there are many methods that are often followed. You...
Get Free Doughnuts Today in Honor of National Doughnut Day
As you may or may not know, today, the first Friday in June, is National Doughnut Day. Our friends at Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kreme have decided to commemorate the event by offering free...
Lawsuit: I Was Fired For Being Too Damn Hot
A friend of mine in the finance industry recently got a new job. When I asked him how things were going, he replied first with: “The women in my office are out of this world.”...
Jim Joyce Blows Perfect Game For Armando Galarraga
Being an umpire or referee is a tough job. Just ask Major League Baseball umpire Jim Joyce. He blew a perfect game last night for Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando...
Man Quits Job To Walk Across America
Matt Green loves walking. A few years ago he started a walking tour group in New York City on weekends. The escape from his day job as a civil engineer blossomed and evolved into a...
My Office Chair is Crumbling
Yesterday I realized that my office chair is starting to fall apart. The rubber armrests have dried out and are now slowly crumbling away. We’ve touched upon protecting your office chair in the past, but...
HireMyMom.com — Hiring a Mom as a Virtual Assistant
There’s nothing better than sitting on the couch and drinking a cold glass of your mom’s fresh batch of lemonade. It’s even better if she brings it to you. Well, I’ve always wondered what it...
An Ode To The Candy Jar
A colleague informed me she was using her lunch break to go to the gym since her boss was flying in a plane. I could tell she felt guilty for abusing her allotted 30 minute...
Oil-Conscious Fashion For The Summer
I gotta be honest, peeps, because it’s in my blood, and also because it kind of titillates me to make people squirm – it’s hard for me to think about something as trivial as fashion...
Extra Shade For Your Cubicle
Why would you need an umbrella over your cubicle? We're not sure, but it makes for a great picture, sent in by a great...
Boss Blunders: Yahoo! CEO Tells Blogger to “F*ck Off”
During the Disrupt TechCrunch conference, a TechCrunch blogger, Mike Arrington, was put in his place by Yahoo! CEO, Carol Bartz....
