5 Minutes to Kill Yourself
An amusing new flash game really "takes a stab" at the cubicle world. Just read this description: "Stan is in hell. He lives the day-in, day-out workaday life of a cube jockey. A last-minute meeting request pushes him over the edge. As Stan, you wander the office space finding ingenious ways to hurt him until Stan’s health is completely drained. He has but five minutes—if he can’t do it by then, he’s doomed to sit through yet another boring meeting. You’re Stan’s only hope." Related posts:How to Avoid Writing Meeting Minutes
The Guidebook to Company Drug Tests
After years of being herded by “The Man,” many Collared Sheep are inevitably coerced into participating in the final indignity: the office drug test. Advocates for drug testing say the practice increases office safety and employee accountability. However, as opponents like my college roommate Jacob “Steaky” Counts always said: “They’re just trying to ruin my good time!” Dr. Day Shift is here to give you a quick guide to office drug testing. We will cover the five substances that are recommended for testing by the Department of Health and Human Services: amphetamines, cannabinoids, cocaine, opiates, and phencyclidine. We will not cover ...
SNL Cubicle Fight
[caption id="attachment_351" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Oh no, not the hole puncher!"][/caption] SNL has done it again with there latest "Cubicle Fight" clip. While I've never been in a full fledged office brawl, I am going to go ahead and imagine that it would be something like this. If you've never seriously considered throwing down with a co-worker, you haven't spent enough time in your cubicle. Keep your eyes open for the hole-punch clippings attack - its rather dirty. That's what she said. Related posts:Video: 5-on-1 Fight Outside of Penn Station Drunk Credit Suisse Employee Detroys Cubicle Winscape: Fake Windows for your Cubicle
10 Advanced Google Search Tricks the Pro’s Use
Google. It's arguably the best search engine on Earth. Whether you need to find a new job, or a lawyer to sue your old company for letting you go, Google's got the answer. Because we bet you use it daily (probably multiple times a day even), we've handpicked a selection of search tips to make your searches faster, more efficient, and even more informative. Read on to discover some of the advanced Google search tricks the professionals use. Search within a site. [singlepic id=326 w=320 h=240 float=center] If you already know a specific site to search, you can use the "site: sitename" parameter in ...
Video: Think You Have a Crappy Job? Try Working in a Music Store
When you think of terrible jobs, trash collector and anything to do with sewage treatment plants come to mind. Working at a guitar shop doesn't exactly "sound" like a bad job (pun...
Guess What? Inflation Impacts All of Us
Don't like paying $78 for a loaf of bread? Neither do we. Let's all gang up on inflation and show it who's the...
4 Reasons We Would Hire Lindsay Lohan
In this economy, it could be hard for Lindsay to find work after she plays a porno star in her next film. We here at The Collared Sheep will take that chance on her,...
Six Flags “Porky Pig” Employee Punched Multiple Times in Head
Porky Pig can be rather annoying. The constant stuttering. The obnoxious bow tie. The whole "no pants" thing. Still, these reasons surely can't be enough to warrant violence. Or can...
The New LinkedIn Security Feature
I rarely log in to my LinkedIn account. However recently, I’ve had several friends get interviews and even jobs by using it’s service. That to me says something about having an up-to-date account. Although I’m...
Wanted: Vampire Slayer. Experience with Microsoft Word Preferred
InStyle magazine recently quoted ‘Twilight’ star Ashley Greene as saying “I worked in accounts payable before and realized that I never, ever wanted to have an office job again.” Everyday I too realize that I...
5 Ways to Thwart a Crazy in The Office
Do you really have a plan if a crazy person decided he/she wanted to come and throw down in your office? Well, you should have...
The Most Disgusting Keyboard You Will Ever See
Some coworkers require some anti bacterial soap after a handshake, and some require a dip in acid if you're not wearing a bio hazard suit. Please try and top this...
August’s Lunch Break Contest – Funniest Office Kitchen Note
Send us a picture of your office kitchen notes, and you could win $25 to spend at SeamlessWeb. We know you're...
Office Haiku: Chipper
Comedian David Cope, whose worked his fair share of day jobs, pens more of his finest Japanese poetry for 8/2/10's office...
Man Arrested for Pushing Stroller Drunk
Because sometimes you need a 12-pack of Bud Light Limes to drown out the crying and nagging,...
North Korea Soccer Forced To Do Manual Labor; Expelled From Party
What happens to you in North Korea if you fail as a professional athlete on the world stage? You don't wanna...
Create Your Own Work Fashion (If It Won’t Get You Fired)
There are a lot of fashion rules and reminders about what we should wear. But our fashion expert challenges the norm and thinks you should do the same. Unless you like your job, that...
