Hey Nelly, the Elevator Doors Don’t Take Credit Cards
Whoever plans Monday meetings first thing in the morning is sick. But that’s not the point here.
Monday mornings are always a complete rush for me. It’s hard enough dragging yourself out of bed after a relaxing weekend. It’s only compounded by a pitch black morning.
This past Monday was no different. As I rushed to work in a state of both sleep and panic, I successfully make it to the elevator bank up to my office. Looking at my watch, there’s a sense of relief seeing that I somehow barely made it to this meeting on time.
One of the six elevators that service my building opens up and I’m psyched.
Not so fast. There’s a really annoying timer with our elevator bank. Only on in the mornings, the doors remain open for a ridiculously long time once you pass by the elevator door sensors. And yes, I’ve tried pressing the “door close” button one thousand times.
The building manager needs to make a visit to the lobby and observe these elevators because the majority of time, the elevators are empty with one or two people.
I can’t fix that. But what I can do is make people aware of their elevator swiping antics.
After I have patiently waited for the extremely long elevator timer to end, and the doors begin to shut, a guy sprints to the elevator and swipes their hand through the elevator door sensors. The doors open up, and he gets on.
Restart the damn timer.
If swiping doesn’t do the trick, some people will actually throw their bodies into the doors, resulting in an awkward, “Are you OK?,” from the rest of the riders.
What’s the point of this inconsiderate move? Saving yourself 5 minutes on your way up to the office? Guess what, the people already on the elevator have put in their time. No need to punish them.
If you throw in two or three of these personality types, you are looking at a very long elevator ride as the timer continues to reset.
So, as I once thought I’d have a few minutes to spare before that Monday meeting, I was wrong. Special thanks to the elevator swipe guy.
Just remember people, this ain’t no Tip Drill. Although Nelly tried to make us aware of the infamous “credit card” swipe, we don’t need to apply it to elevator situations. Please stop!









To the blythe spirit of indifference who happens to be one of my co-workers, thanks a lot! I inserted my K-Cup in the Keurig this morning anticipating a nice ready-brewed cup of Vermont Country Blend, only to discover that the machine displayed a message that the K-Cup bin needed emptied. Well, nothing to that, I thought. So I pulled open the machine to access the bin. As I did so, the murky coffee-tea slop buildup lurking within the overflow tray spewed forth- all over the new kitchen counter, cabinets and floor. Damn! Tempted to just leave this mess for the next poor unsuspecting joe, I remembered our Board is touring the new office space today so I thought I’d better clean up. Reaching for some paper towels, by funny coincidence I dioscovered that whoever used the last paper towel left the empty roll for me to change.
Thinking about this as I sit here and drink my well-deserved cup of coffee- we have a new office with an ugly new kitchen and we have RULES for using the new kitchen- one of those is replacing the paper towel roll when you use the last one. So who enforces the new kitchen rules??
Hoosiergreen,
If someone was to enforce the new kitchen rules, they would eliminate any potential for passive aggressive notes. These notes are amazing and a must-have at the office. My 2 cents.
Oh by the way, consider yourself lucky with emptying the k-cup bin. I’ve been there, and unfortunately the coffee spillage ended up on my shoes.