Facial Hair February: Making Beards OK at Work
This month is Facial Hair February in the office. The alliteration perfect: February starts with F, facial hair starts with F. Why wouldn’t you be growing a beard with your coworkers?
We’ve spent the month celebrating with our annual beard battle.
Everyone shaves the last day of January and begins to cultivate their beards. At the end of the month, our office posts pictures and we vote on top beard (Read: manliest).
However, the beard victory isn’t necessarily a badge of honor. We require the winner to shave their facial hair into whatever the voters request. This can range from a Civil War era mustache to Paul Bunyan-esque glory (both having spectacular office credibility).
It’s fun, exciting, and a necessary evil in February. Despite comments and criticisms on proper office etiquette, Facial Hair February is here to stay. I recommend all offices create a competition similar to our own.
I look around the office while I write this and I see several beards — the usual suspects. I see the beard that says “I remember the days when people liked my beard. Woodstock, man.” I also see the facial rug that says “My owner is lost without me. I’m his identity.” And I see the horror show that says “I wish she would just go down to the corner and pay $15 for the facial wax.”
As we close the chapter that was February 2010, you have 11 months to reflect … and plan.
Just remember, the office beard any other time of the year has to be well executed. Beards can make or break the man. So here’s a few things to remember:
1. No neck beards. Unless you’re competing for the Stanley Cup or trying to prevent a terrorist attack (ala George Clooney in “Syriana”), there’s no room for it. Ask Denver Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton. There was a grassroots movement in 2005, when he was with the Bears, to shave his horrible neck beard.
2. No chin straps … unless you’re selling cell phones at a kiosk in the mall.
3. No offensive lengths … unless you’re looking for street ‘cred in Afghanistan. Confused? Just see the picture below.Facial Hair February will be back. Will you be ready for the defeat, respect and/or glory, that comes with it?