Corporate Jargon Conversation Hearts

Corporate Jargon Conversation Hearts

Dear Necco, Picture this. It’s February 14, 2013. You’re in a conference room filled with high powered executives. A man, late forties, is concluding his Powerpoint presentation. He’s been in the advertising industry for twenty...

published: 02/14/2012

comments: 0


Company Welcomes First Jargon of the New Year

Company Welcomes First Jargon of the New Year

Amidst whispered words of encouragement from conference call participants, the first corporate jargon of the new year was quietly welcomed into the world by Boartman Consulting Project...

published: 01/12/2012

comments: 0


Merry Christmas to All and to All a $5 Gift Card

Merry Christmas to All and to All a $5 Gift Card

After twenty-five minutes in front of the gift card display at her local Stop & Shop, Annabeth Miller is still undecided on which shitty $5 gift cards to purchase her coworkers for Christmas. “My cube...

published: 12/08/2011

comments: 0


Secretary4Life’s Thanksgiving Countdown

Secretary4Life’s Thanksgiving Countdown

Since November 1st, I’ve noticed some people on Facebook doing a countdown where they list one thing that they’re thankful for each day until Thanksgiving. That is all very positive and nice, but since I...

published: 11/17/2011

comments: 0


Employee Grabs for Low-Hanging Fruit, Dies

Employee Grabs for Low-Hanging Fruit, Dies

Bickman-Bergmeyer employee, Daryl Pitman, 47, died yesterday after a failed attempt at grabbing the low-hanging fruit. “It was just so sad,” said Administrative Assistant, Donna Carr. “We all saw it happen. Our boss, Larry, had...

published: 10/27/2011

comments: 0


National Boss Day

National Boss Day

I couldn’t help but laugh when I noticed that National Boss Day (Sunday, October 16th) was listed on my Dunkin Donuts calendar as “National Boss Day Observed,” on Monday, October 17th. I know that a...

published: 10/13/2011

comments: 0


Boost Office Productivity by Wasting Time Online

Boost Office Productivity by Wasting Time Online

Finally, along comes a study showing that something once thought bad (albeit by upper managment) is actually...

published: 09/29/2011

comments: 0


On The Road Again

On The Road Again

A few posts back I mentioned that you should always jump at the chance to take an office road trip. I also mentioned that you should only volunteer to go if it’s a nice day...

published: 09/08/2011

comments: 0


April Ludgate – The Best Worst Assistant on T.V.

April Ludgate – The Best Worst Assistant on T.V.

I take you now to the best portrayal of an administrative assistant currently on television - April Ludgate from Parks & Recreation. If you are looking for a lazy, deadpan, apathetic, role model, April...

published: 08/25/2011

comments: 2


The Treadmill Desk

The Treadmill Desk

It’s a treadmill! It’s a desk! It’s a treadmill desk! It’s over two thousand dollars! And much to my dismay, this ridiculous looking piece of office furniture actually receives rave reviews all across the Internet....

published: 08/11/2011

comments: 1


Employee Found Alive in Cubicle

Employee Found Alive in Cubicle

Whistles of relief could be heard throughout the offices of Crenshaw & Bick when Walter Gatch, 57, presumed dead at his desk since Monday morning, was found alive by janitorial staff. “When he didn’t blow...

published: 08/04/2011

comments: 0


Four Ways to Survive the Summer While Stuck in a Cubicle

Four Ways to Survive the Summer While Stuck in a Cubicle

Everybody seems to be coming up with a list of ways to “survive the summer” while being stuck in a cubicle. And since I am a) stuck in a cubicle, and b) totally okay with...

published: 07/07/2011

comments: 4


Tear in Space-Time Continuum Traced Back to Incomplete Timesheets

Tear in Space-Time Continuum Traced Back to Incomplete Timesheets

Not a single employee of Burke & Wagner, P.C. has bothered to complete their timesheet before leaving for the day, resulting in a potentially serious tear in the space-time...

published: 06/23/2011

comments: 0


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