This is our third installment of “Case of the Mondays” and we already have two winners in the same story!

So if you’re having a hard time getting motivated this Monday, just remember, you could be one of these two: Pepper Spray Mistakenly Used on Burning Man [KPTV — Portland].

Yes, that headline is correct.

The officer happened to be nearby when she saw the man go up in flames near Southwest 12th Avenue and Yamhill Street. She scrambled out of her patrol car and grabbed what she believed to be the extinguisher, according to Police Chief Rosie Sizer.

Told you this one is a two-parter.

The first part is kind of summed up quicky: The guy is dead.

It’s worth mentioning that the pepper spray was water-based, so it did not contribute to the fire. So, while things could be worse for the police officer, it still sucks that you didn’t grab the canister that’s used to put out fires.

Also, can we talk about some of the ridiculousness of this report?

1. They lead with the fact that police procedure will be changing. I think the most important part of the story is that a guy lit himself on fire. Who the hell cares about police procedure in instances like that?

2. The report doesn’t mention that the guy died until 15 seconds in. It’s almost as if they tried to sneak in the fact the dude died.

3. The field reporter mentions another person nearby had a fire extinguisher on hand. I want to know who has readily access to a fire extinguisher? Talk about being prepared for all situations.

4. The close up of the burn mark is real intense.

5. The field reporter says “But the man ran away from those who were trying to help him and would not cooperate.” Well, could that be because he was on fire? Could it be because he was on fire and someone sprayed him with a vile substance? Maybe.

6. The field reporter says the police chief: “It doesn’t appear using a fire extinguisher instead of pepper spray would have made much of a difference.” Really? I thought fire extinguishers put out fires…I feel like putting out the fire would have made a difference.

Alright. I’m done ranting. Have a great Monday.