8 Business Lessons From Celebrity Apprentice 2010

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The Celebrity Apprentice Season is finally over. Being that the show is all about “business,” there must be some lessons learned that will help better our careers.

We did the homework for you, here is our list.


1. Trump would be the worst boss… ever.

Finding a good boss is tough. I work for a micro manager, and it can be hell.

But could you imagine working for Trump? I mean, look at how he runs his own show. He’s so hands off, he just makes critical decisions, LIKE FIRING PEOPLE, without fully knowing the facts. I guess that’s a style of management: Trust the people that work for you. But come on? You’re deciding someone’s fate without being present?

And what’s up with that part of the show where you’re supposed to guess Donald’s favorite Kodak moment? YOUR favorite moment doesn’t matter. It only matters if it’s the same as the boss’s. How lame is that?

Bottom line: It would suck big time to work for The Donald.

"I'm having a bad hair day. You're fired."

2. Extreme laziness is the fast-track out of the office.

Trump: Are you tired? You want to go home?
Stawberry: Yes.

Darryl Strawberry was blatantly lazy throughout the show. His most successful task happened to be ordering pizza.

By week 3, the apprentice challenges became too “fast-paced” for Darryl that he became tired and needed a break. Lazy people in the office suck. Lazy people in charitable competitions are a whole other animal.

3. Nepotism counts more than anything else in business.

I’m assuming you’ve been there, because it’s present in so many businesses: The boss’s moron kids are your boss.

It’s tough to work for someone who has trouble communicating because there’s a silver spoon shoved down their throat. But that’s the reality.

I guess it’s worth pointing out that Donald’s kids, often present in the board room, do have some solid qualifications. But as long as they’re around, you don’t stand a chance.

There's no glass ceiling working for Trump. You're looking at the ceiling.

4. It’s not what you know, its who you know.

Who the hell is Holly Robinson Peete?

This relatively unknown “celebrity” was constantly matched against Sharon Osbourne for fund raising duties.

Surprisingly enough, Sharon, the 25th richest woman in Britain on the 2009 Sunday Times Rich List was embarrassed by Holly’s total cash raised of $597,000. Sharon was not even close, with the 5th highest fund raising amount of $40,000. She may have the business prowess, but her contacts at Ozzfest are spending their money on something else.

5. Crazies need to be managed.

We chronicled her episodes throughout the season.

When other contestants are having to come up with ways to manage her, you know it’s not going to end pretty. And it didn’t.

It’s always tough when you have an employee on the team that doesn’t pull their weight. But throw in the crazy, and it’s a daily nightmare. All of a sudden you’re walking different routes to the cafeteria just to avoid said crazy.

Cyndi is rather lovable, but the crazies gotta go!

"Hey! Wouldn't it be great if we had a green house in the office?"

6. Suspenseful music should be played at every board room meeting.

Meetings can be excruciating. On the weekends, I tend to avoid bad thoughts of work as much as possible.

The producers of this show had a different idea. Obviously they never worked in a cubicle and thought their brilliant 1-hour “Board Room Meetings” were going to be an instant hit. Instead, I found that I could watch a few other shows and still get the basics simply by watching the last 5 minutes of the board room portion.

It’d be nice if that was possible in real life.

7. Bowel movements should not be a subject of discussion.

If I was dating a “World Wrestling Entertainment Diva”, would I expect her to talk about bowel movements?

Maybe.

But claiming Curtis Stone is overly cocky because he doesn’t use spray after a heavy bathroom break is crazy. When this happened during the episode prior to the finale, Trump’s face said it all. It just goes to show that if it seems a little weird on reality television, it’s going to sound even weirder to a group of co-workers.

Leave these talks for your friends (if you must tell someone).

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SEND ME E-MAILS AFTER 11:30 A.M."

8. Everyone loves a rock star

I’m the youngest person on my team. I started my job right out of college, so each Monday I was peppered with “What did you do this weekend?!” from the guys who are married and pushing kids around Manhattan.

I would embellish stories about trips to the bar, beach and other general man-about-town stuff. I became legend. I did have some fun times, but an average Friday night out was a dream to these guys. People are intrigued by the wild life.

So it’s no wonder Bret Michaels won. It was a no brainer. Pun not intended. I mean, the guy is a friggin’ rock star. There’s a show where women throw themselves at him. He’s toured the world. Throw in a miraculous come back from a life-threatening injury?

He’s the guy everyone wants to work with.

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One Response to “8 Business Lessons From Celebrity Apprentice 2010”
  1. McFly says:

    I second #4

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