Lindsay Lohan is a free woman, sort of.

She’s now out of jail, but attending a court-ordered in-patient rehab. After 30 days, she’ll be back on the streets, ready to raise hell.

But will she get any work? Yes, she’ll play porn star Linda Lovelace in a biopic called “Inferno”, but there has to be more out there for Lindsay, right? It can’t end there…it just can’t.

We here at The Collared Sheep are wondering if she’s looking for a meaningful opportunity on the ground floor of a promising startup. Sure, she’s a convicted criminal, but I once started a brush fire (on accident). Everyone deserves a clean slate.

So, we’re going to throw caution to the wind and offer Lindsay Lohan a gig with The Collared Sheep, and here’s four reasons why:

1. She’s not a white male

Everyone has heard a manager say it: “We need to stop bringing in white males. HR is all over my ass about this and they have a point. Look around: Chet, Bradford, Whitley.”

Bringing in a “Lindsay” would definitely break that mold. We understand hiring a woman is not that cutting edge, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Now if we could just somehow change her ethnicity…

2. Insane marketing boost

Trust me, running a small business is difficult. After pouring in countless hours, you’re left trying to find money to market the business.

Hiring Lohan ensures a camp of paparazzi outside the front door and daily blastings on PerezHilton.com.

And what do they say? Any publicity is good publicity. We would gladly take it from Pere…nevermind, that’s not sounding the way I want it to.

Either way, the heat and public lashing that would come along with hiring Lohan sure beats the hell out of walking around strip mall parking lots and putting business flyers under windshield wipers.

I’d even box Michael Lohan after taking a bunch of tranquilizers to have Lohan working around the TCS headquarters.

3. Possible tax incentives

Recently, thousands of unemployed felons lined up in Houston to get about 35 jobs.

So we’re legitimately concerned about future employment opportunities for Lohan. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. And in this economy, the person who wasn’t busted on felony cocaine possession MIGHT have a leg up.

But we’re into second chances, especially if they come with tax breaks. How good would it feel if we were able to hit up our tax guy next year and say “What do you know about the Federal Work Opportunity Tax Credit?”

Non-violent offender AND a little extra scratch in our pockets? Yes, please.

4. Increased fun at company functions

If there’s one skill Lindsay can put on the resume, it’s partying.

How many photos have we seen her stumbling out of some club on a random Tuesday?

How about raising the stakes with a company party? Not to mention that she could easily get the company booked at the hottest venue in town for probably next to no money. All you need is a SCRAM braclet loophole and you’re golden.

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