I was watching some of the Grammy Awards last night and caught the Black Eyed Peas performance. One of the group’s performers, Taboo, reminds me a lot of a fellow co-worker in the office.

The guy who always seems to look busy (we’ll call him Jim for the purpose of this article), yet is known throughout the office for his incompetence and skillful escape of completing any actual work himself. In Taboo’s case, the guy who holds the mic but never actually sings.

Well, after reading Wikihow’s 14 Steps on “How to Look Busy at Work Without Really Working”, the techniques of these two individuals make perfect sense.

Before I get any Taboo fans upset, please note that I’m basing my opinion solely on the performance I watched and Taboo’s wikipedia site. The Wikipedia site uses 5 lines to describe his Black Eyed Peas career with the last line explaining his movie stint as Vega in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li. If he in fact does play a large role in the group’s success, I would argue that they may want to have him actually rap/sing on center stage, in front of a large tv audience (not the case).

Here are a few examples of their tricks, based on the Wikihow 14 Steps:

Step 2: Create the illusion of furious activity whenever possible.

This is easy for Jim. He updates spreadsheets for a living. As a result, he is constantly setting up meetings and stopping by cubicles to get the information. The problem for Jim, is that this spreadsheet is the only thing he updates.

Taboo needs to be careful. Microphone in hand? Check. Prancing around on-stage? Check. Singing into the microphone? Uh oh! I’m surprised the rest of the group hasn’t caught on.

Step 8: Visit friends in different departments, leaving your workspace very “busy” looking.

Since Jim created a spreadsheet that requires information from different departments, he now is forced to visit these departments. Great move. Now he simply shuffles some papers on his desk and keeps the spreadsheet on the screen. One would only assume his productivity level is sky high. It’s difficult to tell since he sneaks out the back at 5pm sharp each day.

Taboo understands the importance of continuing education. The role as Vega in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li allows him to leave rehearsals (current department) and visit Hollywood (other department). Unfortunately a 3.9/10 on IMDb may not make this a common occurrence.

Step 14: Get a co-worker to do the work for you.

Jim has somehow climbed the corporate ladder, and climbed he has. With three additional employees under him, he just needs create the appearance that he’s working. These able bodies can knock out spreadsheet updates in no time. A brilliant move by Jim in my book.

The rapping weight is obviously on Will.I.Am’s shoulders. He’s the only guy who does any sort of actual rapping, taking a lot of stress off the gang. While Will.I.Am is in the recording studio, on-stage, and attending promotional event, Taboo is able to battle it out with Zangeif on camera. Maybe he’ll step up this year and score a role in the chorus.

Do you have any stories about a co-worker like Jim or have a great review on Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li? Let’s hear it!

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